I've become accustomed to fake ads where losers like Dua Lipa pretend to live within the confusing Samsung ecosystem. A skater follow filming in landscape. 1 Grandma uses Google whatsit to videochat with grandkids. Every person I've ever met in my life uses an iPhone, and they cannot fathom incredible insane stuff like sideloading apps (what I call installing) or accessing most of their phone's filesystem.2 Sure, they put better guts in some Ultra models, but if you don't care about one app store I don't know why you wouldn't just get an iPhone. They're easier to fix than Samsungs or Pixels, though Apple hates you for doing it. But no one I know gives a crap about stuff like that. Their phone is on a lease from their parents, they don't pursue upgrades because none of the new stuff is remotely interesting to humans. A new iPhone has not been sick since the 12. Anyway, musicians are different, Samsung argues, though they don't advertise any of the Android versitility that iOS has had for years. Musicians send files to each other. Musicians sit in a room for 24 hours to test battery life for a product that would fatigue anyone's ears after a six hour flight. I'm refering to the new Charli XCX Nothing phone campaign which unfortunately I see every day on the subway. I contemplated getting a Nothing phone to replace my Samsung Galaxy S20 FE from 2020. I don't trust Nothing yet, (bababababy) in part because my phone is older than their availability in the States and also they are rubbing Britishness in our faces. Of course Charli XCX can use a Nothing phone when she's back in King's England with George drinking tea. In LA she's absolutely on an iPhone on Verizon.3 I can't relate to Charli because she's too cool. Whatever her day to day workflow is I can't relate. Do you think the it girls table can deal with MMS-quality video popping up in the groupchat? No Facetime? Charli could get away with that (in fake advertisement world where Nothing phones take good photos).
Samsung phones are evil. Their AI tries to make my skin lighter in selfies. They'd probably lighten Dua Lipa's face. here's just a lot of stupid junk on there. They're bulletproof though, and they used to be easier to fix. I don't want a Nothing phone because it doesn't need to be cool. It's an Android. I want to run one of those Chinese phones where you can hotswap the battery, but AT&T uses mickey mouse 5g bands. I just need RCS so iPhone people include me in groupchats so I don't die alone. If I didn't need RCS I'd be running some security bungus. The most Snowdened phone is buying a Google Pixel directly from Google and then trusting a program from the internet to wipe Google from your phone.
To be frank I don't want a Google Pixel. I associate it with San Francisco and "wearables" and selfie sticks and east Asian yuppies who have Nazi politics. No one has ever purchased a Google Pixel who wasn't a tech writer.
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Instagram has had video for over a decade why do ads keep doing this? no one has every filmed skateboarding like this) ↩
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The average iPhone user has the tech savvy of an eighty year-old and every time someone is actually using Android they would be running that awful Comic Sans font in OneUI. ↩
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She could also use a phone from all of the Chinese OEMs that cannot break in here in the states because AT&T needs a scary manosphere guy to personally sell you versions of phones with more spyware installed on it. Of course, T-Mobile supports pretty much every phone in the world now but my mother who I sponge off of has AT&T. My parents had fricking Cingular before the merger. AT&T has the worst network and is hemorraeging bennies every second. They have no good phones that aren't 1500 dollars or foldable. ↩